Proverbs 28: 13-14-Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity.
After a breakup, a plethora of questions as well as actions come to mind. Why did this happen? Didn't I try hard enough? Wasn't I good enough? How could they do this to me? Why? Why? Why?! Then, comes the typical cliche. I will never date again. Forget heartbreaks, I will be single forever. I don't need anyone. The lists goes on and on. Confusion tends to set in.
Dedicating part of your life to someone takes time and effort, sometimes even money or whatnot. However, a breakup allows you to experience loss. You perhaps not only lost the love of your life, in a sense, but also your best friend and even, part of your life. The overwhelming feeling of loneliness and unworthiness dwells within the depths of ones' soul. A breakup is a stab in the heart as if to shatter it into a million pieces and disconnect the soul from feeling. In order to never undergo this gruesome feeling, one tends to harden the heart. It seems like the only way to protect oneself, but one fails to realize that this supposedly protection steals valuable things, such as: hope, faith, love, etc. The hardening of ones heart is not protect, but a poison, a bitter enemy, coursing through the veins of the one shielding itself in its shelter.
Nevertheless, it seems that the only way to heal is by not feeling, by numbing the pain. Yet deep inside, one hopes to fall in love and share an intimate relationship with a special someone. However, this will not be a reality if one's heart is harden. I know it seems like the best way to cope with the pain. For me, it was easier to succumb to sin in order to feel better, to feel wanted, to feel happy. Does the feeling last? No. The pleasures of sins are temporary; it is a false joy, never-lasting. Sin is like a balloon. One blows it up to full capacity; it looks nice on whatever it decorates for a moment. Then, the balloon starts to slowly deflate, deteriorating the soul, ceasing to exist and taking away all its glory, its supposed beauty, with it. A balloon never last; its purpose is to embellish life for a mere second, but eventually, it will end, and no one truly finds joy in it like they do in the main gift, on what is everlasting, on what is the main purpose.
So instead of hardening your heart, which eventually leads one to attach to sin, feel the pain. Yes, I said feel the pain. You might ask yourself, how will I survive? The answer is simple: by living. You continue on your path.It is okay to cry, but do not let that overtake your life. Yes, it hurts, but if everything was fine and dandy, then, we would not really be living. Life is full of sorrows and joys. In the midst of pain, sorrow, chaos, trials, and tribulations, one grows, blossoms, learns, and becomes stronger. The heart is meant to feel, not to be numb. And perhaps the knife which shattered it may be still deeply embedded because you are not ready to take it out, to feel the full extent of that hurt. Medically, it is said to leave it in, prepare the damage, and then, take it out. However, spiritually, I challenge you to take it out, face the pain, and overcoming it each day. Some days will be easier than others, but trust me when I say, it is not impossible.
By feeling the pain, I realized my need for healing. Maybe you can keep going without God. nonetheless, the greatest tool, I have found is when one seeks God in the middle of hurt. Sin, nor a new bf or crush, does not heal the wounds. They cover it for awhile, and then, you realize the pain is still there. So a pattern of covering the pain with sin starts to emerge, and you start to slowly lose yourself, hardening your heart. When you face the pain, ask God to guide you, you attack it at its root and allow yourself to take part of the opportunities God has to offer, such as: joy, faith, hope, the ability to find true love. God does not give us more than what we can handle, and by holding onto His hand we will not sink. Like I said, yes, you experienced a loss, but so did God. He gave Jesus Christ, His only son to die on the cross for you. He suffered loss for love; He knows how you feel. Trust him. Don't harden your heart and allow yourself to face the pain and know that God is holding your hand all the way through.
Psalm 23:4-Even though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for you shall be with me; your rod and staff comfort me.
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