I Feel Pretty, Oh, So Pretty!

Each Tuesday and Thursday, I tend to sleep in, waking up just in time to shower, get ready, and head to work. It seems to be the same routine, with some days getting to eat lunch and others not. It was just another day. However, yesterday was different.
There was a cool breeze, with cloudy skies: my perfect weather. It reminded me of New Orleans. All you needed was a light sweater. Windows down, radio blaring, my on-and-off key-note singing made a great drive to work. My hair swayed with the breeze, my own nature-created blow dryer. As I arrived to school and parked, I was excited for what the day was to bring: A long day of work, which is not overbearing because I love my job and enjoy who I work with. After work, Mandarin class, time passed by fast while we learn and laugh. I got out of my car and walked to work. Then, it happened. I felt pretty.
As weird as that might sound to some, it is something I rarely feel. Not only that, but coming out of an emotionally abusive relationship causes one to not feel valuable; we become our worst enemy by always belittling ourselves, at times, more than our "partner" do. Feeling pretty that day was only reinforced by some compliments. Then, someone from church who is dear to me reminded me: El Corazón Alegre Hermosea El Rostro. Directly translated, it means: A happy heart beautifies the face. Or as Proverbs 13:15 states: "A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance..."(NKJV). Happiness can be seen through our facial expressions more clearly than anything else. All I wanted to do, most of the day, was smile.
This is such an important phase in the healing processes. Why? Because you are starting to value yourself and realize that you are worthy. Most of the time, when we have come out of a relationship, one wonders, What did I do wrong? Was I not good enough? For women, I believe this is one of the main questions we ask ourselves. As emotional beings, we are a broken record, replaying each hurtful word our "partner" told us or that moment when they left us. Our minds our flooded with questions we want answered, with the need for a meaningful closure. What did I do wrong? What? Was I that bad that he had to be away from me in order to be happy? These are all things I thought. And honestly, his words would only cut me deeper, making feel worthless. And I can prove it. For instance, he told me, "Then, this is the right path. I wasn't happy the way it was...while I appreciated the fact you cared about me, the irony is that your love was helping me die." What is one suppose to think when the person they cared and loved tell them this? It made me think my love was not good enough. I could have let this affect me in several ways: (1) Never, ever love again or get close to someone because my love will "destroy" them. (2) Try to find love, but now, I am going to still hurt them and screw it up, (3) Wonder if everyone I love will just end up getting hurt by me, and (4) Ignore it and know that there is a man out there that is worthy of my love which is valuable to him and even God.

So I tell you, there are many things that he said to me that made me feel unworthy, or to simply state it, as crap. Some were straight-out cold and hurtful. However, it is how you let those things affect you that matters. No person should make you feel inferior or unworthy. The only flawless being to exist is God; He is the perfect, pure, good, just, and honest compared to all humanity. Even God, knowing that we are lowly sinners, loves us enough to sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross. So why should we let a person who is flawed like us tell us how valuable we are? We shouldn't. Any person that belittles you should be cut from your life. Know that you are worthy and valuable. Live each day feeling pretty and singing, "I feel pretty, oh, so pretty!" <3


:P Let this be your life song ^.^